A Brief Hiatus

My lovely readers: If you know me at all, you know that I am prone to thinking myself a failure. But I’m trying to move out of that mindset because of the seemingly irreparable damage it does to my wellbeing and to the people around me. And because it’s become so very boring.

In any case, life has been really nutty, lately. Work is way more intense than usual; this diet, though remarkable, is taking up a lot of my time; the ten year anniversary of my mother’s passing is coming up and even though I’m doing everything I can to ready myself for it, I’m woefully unprepared; and, I’ve recently been elected to a co-chair position for a non-profit steering committee.

I’ve learned pretty recently that I often set myself up to fail (i.e. not succeed to the degree that I want to) so that I can justify and excuse my self-loathing practices. Unlike many self-saboteurs, I’m not afraid of failing, and don’t use fear as a reason to not try. I try like hell. I expect myself to put a thousand percent of myself in everything, yet I somehow always-already know that I will not accomplish what I want to accomplish. For example, I will tell myself that I’ll practice an hour of piano a day knowing full well that that I won’t and can’t (since I’ve over-committed to just about everything in my life), so I can have a reason to berate myself. I’ll make a goal of writing a new blog entry per week and use my inability to execute (because there are only 24 hours in a day) as a new source of self-doubt.

I want to break free from this strange self-defeating trend, and in order to do that, I need to change some of my habits. So, to stop using something I love (this blog) to treat myself poorly, I’m going to do something radically different, and rearrange my own expectations. Starting today, I’m going to take an intentional hiatus from Exposed Eats until April 2016, when work and life are less bonkers. Scouts honor, I’ll be back. I just have far too many thoughts and feelings about food and other things to stay away.

Before I go on this self-imposed break, I do want to say a few things about this sort-of-elimination diet we’ve been on the last three weeks.

Honestly, it’s been kind of laborious. I think there’s been some kind of psychological impact in knowing I cannot consume red meat, dairy products, added sugars, gluten, and eggs. Everything we’ve been eating has been quite delicious, but I’ve put a lot of extra work into the meals to compensate for this real or perceived lack. But I’ve been feeling AMAZING.

Things I’ve learned so far:

  1. Breakfast is so important. I know this is a really silly thing to say, since everyone already knows it. For most of my life, I have not eaten breakfast. I don’t like waking up earlier in the morning to prepare something. I find breakfast foods to be very boring, unless they are are a bacon, egg and cheese croissant or german pancakes with caramelized apples. For the last three weeks, we’ve been eating mostly quinoa porridge with coconut milk, berries or fried bananas, and nuts. Though I’m not completely sold on the taste just yet (especially since we can’t add any sugar, maple syrup, honey, etc.), I have to say that I’ve been insanely energetic during the day. I’m already a pretty upbeat and high-energy person, so it’s possible that this new breakfast-eating Yejin is actually a bit terrifying. In any case, when this diet is over, we’re going to continue eating these porridges for breakfast because they’re awesome. With a tiny bit of maple syrup? Ugh, it’ll be so good. And, when we can reintroduce eggs (in a week),  I’m going to be all over that shit. Fried eggs over rice with vegetables. Soft boiled eggs with a touch of sea salt. Yes. Yes.
  2. Consuming too many sweets has dulled my tastebuds. The hardest part of this diet has been the elimination of added sugars. I never had a sweet tooth until recently (I blame my nutella-hoarding husband), but I’ve never really realized how many products have added sugars in them. In any case, after being sad about sugarless breakfast porridges (only sweetened through fruit) and 80+% cocoa chocolates for two whole weeks, something remarkable happened. I started tasting the natural sweetness in everything. I’m not supposed to have alcohol on this diet, but have cheated a couple of times. One of those times, I had a tiny splash of scotch. And it was SO SWEET. I was stunned by how much sweetness I now suddenly tasted in this beverage I have consumed a great deal in the past. I’m also now officially obsessed with really dark chocolates. Oh, and fruit. Fruit is like candy.
  3. Eating with a new level of ingredient-based intentionality can lead to surprising things like weight loss.  I have accidentally lost seven pounds from this diet. I am not eating less than I normally do (but definitely less than I was over the holidays), but am obviously being super intentional about what I’m putting in my body. That’s not to say that cheese or bread or steak or any other amazing food is the cause of weight gain – I just think thinking this much about what’s going into my body has had some interesting results.
  4. I love gluten. Next week we will be slowly reintroducing gluten into our diet to see how our body reacts. I’m pretty sure I’m not intolerant or allergic to it, but I am open to the possibility that it slows me down. However, I’ve never thought I would miss bread so much in my life. This surprises me.
  5. Cravings can go away. I have a weird relationship with cravings, especially as someone who once had an eating disorder. In the last couple of years, I’ve tried fall into my cravings (in moderation) so that I’m not a prisoner to them, and to a certain degree I think I still will. However, for the first two weeks of the diet I had what felt like insatiable cravings for pizza, macaroni & cheese, croissants, and more. I would think about those foods before falling asleep, and they were the first things on my mind when I woke up. But once I entered into the third week, most of those urgent tastebud needs went away. Of course, I still want those things, but I’m no longer near tears because of them. So, yay!

See you in a couple of months, my doves!

Things I’ve Cooked for this Sad Diet


Pumpkin quinoa porridge with coconut milk, pepitas, dried cranberries, and sliced bananas


Lentil, roasted broccoli and shallot stew over jasmine rice


Scallion and ginger shrimp with roasted cauliflower and brown rice


Hainanese chicken with roasted broccoli and jasmine rice


Roasted butternut squash risotto made with homemade cornish hen broth


Roasted cornish hen with jasmine rice and roasted brussel sprouts


Grilled branzino with roasted veggies and jasmine rice


Chicken soup with cranberry beans, carrots, celery, onion, chicken, and kale


Lamb meatloaf (with mushrooms, zucchini, caramelized onions, garlic, raisins, and pine nuts) with roasted veggies and jasmine rice


Roasted butternut squash, spinach, and chickpea curried stew with brown rice 


Grilled branzino


Mixed quinoa porridge with coconut milk,  berries, and walnuts

Menu of Meals: Week 2 of Our “Clean Slate Diet” Challenge, Plus a Recipe Poll

Dieting is hard. After completing the first week of our “clean slate diet” (where we eliminate gluten, dairy, beef/pork, added sugar, and other allergens like eggs), I honestly feel great. Scarily, I have a lot more energy throughout the day (I’m already known to be quite hyper), my attention span has lengthened a great deal, and I’ve weirdly lost five pounds. However, I cannot stop craving the following foods: pizza (I have dreams of shotgunning a large everything pie), mac n cheese, porchetta sandwich, soft boiled eggs, and steak. Though I’ve done all I can to make the first week of meals as exciting as possible despite this diet’s hard restrictions, there is something I miss not only about the taste of these forbidden ingredients, but also the texture. I haven’t yet been able to figure out how to recreate the creaminess of melted cheese, the dual texture of things like bread (crispy on the outside, soft on the inside), or the chewiness of red meat, and I find myself wanting those things more than anything, right now.

I’ve heard that the first few days of a diet is the hardest. My husband and I are committed to competing this six-week regimen, but it’s a little sad. This isn’t to say that each meal hasn’t been delicious. Here’s a sampling of what we ate last week:

Meals (clockwise starting on the top left): ginger/scallion chicken soup with rice noodles, shredded chicken and garlic sautéed bok choy; mushu chicken with brown rice; brown rice noodles stir-fried with vegetables in almond butter/soy sauce with broiled salmon and roasted broccoli and cauliflower; turkey meatball soup with escarole and kale; green lentils with roasted brussel sprouts with jasmine rice

Meals (clockwise starting on the top left): ginger/scallion chicken soup with rice noodles, shredded chicken and garlic sautéed bok choy; mushu chicken with brown rice; brown rice noodles stir-fried with vegetables in almond butter/soy sauce with broiled salmon and roasted broccoli and cauliflower; turkey meatball soup with escarole and kale; green lentils with roasted brussel sprouts with jasmine rice

True to form, I went overboard during week one and spent an unnecessary amount of time in the kitchen to compensate for what we were going to miss. But let’s be real. A cheese-less and bread-less life is not the merriest life. In any case, this week, I’m not going to be as insane in the kitchen because I don’t want to burn out. Without further ado, here’s the menu for the week.

Menu of Meals for Week 2 (January 10th-17th):

Sunday, January 10th

  • B: Sliced apple with almond butter
  • L: Nha Minh smoked fish rice bowl
  • D: Roasted butternut squash, chickpea, and coconut curry w/ white rice
    * Make hummus

Monday, January 11th

  • B: Fruit
  • L: Leftover butternut squash, chickpea, and coconut curry with white rice
  • D: Scallion ginger shrimp with brown rice and roasted broccoli/cauliflower

Tuesday, January 12th

  • B: Chocolate chia seed pudding with berries
  • L: Leftover scallion ginger shrimp with brown rice and roasted broccoli/cauliflower
  • D: Lamb and mint meatballs with brown rice and salad
    * make chicken broth

Wednesday, January 13th

  • B: Quinoa porridge with frozen berries, banana, and walnut
  • L: Leftover lamb and mint meatballs with brown rice
  • D: Hainanese chicken with garlic rice and garlic bok choy

Thursday, January 14th

  • B: Coconut milk yogurt with fruit
  • L: Leftover hainanese chicken with garlic rice and garlic bok choy
  • D: Broiled salmon with quinoa and roasted brussel sprouts and cranberry beans with radicchio

Friday, January 15th

  • B: Brown rice porridge with fruit and almonds  
  • L:  Leftover salmon with quinoa and roasted brussel sprouts and cranberry beans with raddichio
  • D: Roasted cornish hen with brown rice, salad, and roasted brussel sprouts

Saturday, January 16th

  • B:  Chia seed pudding
  • L: Leftover roasted cornish hen with brown rice and roasted brussel sprouts
  • D: Braised collard greens with cranberry beans and turkey andouille sausage and brown rice
    * Make chicken broth

Sunday, January 17th

  • B: Fruit  
  • L: Leftovers
  • D: Roasted butternut squash risotto with roasted vegetables 

I know I owe my little community of readers a post on meal planning when cooking just seems like the worst thing ever, and I promise it will come sometime this month. This diet is taking more of my time than I thought it would. Plus being back at work full-force after a 10-day break is harder as a supervisor. But I’m on it, my dears!