Category Archives: Lunch

Dinner, Lunch, Recipe

On Value and Self-Worth, and a Porchetta Recipe

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As you all know, I’ve been “working on myself” a lot, this year. What this means, tangibly, is that I’ve been trying to identify the sources of my self-deprecating/loathing tendencies. For example, I mentioned in a previous blog post on cooking for one, I have historically never cooked just for myself essentially because I don’t believe I’m worth the trouble or that I deserve my own love. Therapy has helped me to both be a little kinder to myself, and to hold myself accountable for some of my own unhappiness. But, I still have lots of work to do. My self-reflective question for the fall is this: who determines my value and worth, and why?

I work hard. I do lots of things for people I love. And I do this partially because I personally want to excel at what I do, and I desperately want to be a good and kind person. But, let’s be real. I also need lots and lots of external validation in order to feel fulfilled – without it, I slide down that slip-and-slide of self-doubt and confusion. I hate this about myself. I have incredible admiration for people who seemingly don’t rely on validation from others. My husband is really high achieving, super smart, and is good at tons of stuff. But unlike me, his strength appears to come from within, not from other people. How does that even work? How do I get that? Can I buy it? Please?

It's entirely possible that my soul is nourished only by external validation because my life as a child was consumed by piano, flute, singing, and dance competitions. Or maybe not.

It’s entirely possible that my soul is nourished only by external validation because my life as a child was consumed by piano, flute, singing, and dance competitions. Yikes.

In any case, I’m working on it. In fact, I have experienced one major improvement in the last 6 months: I am actually sometimes capable of being proud of myself. Sometimes. At this time last year, even if I had exceeded a fundraising goal for work, I became unnecessarily angry at myself for not exceeding the goal by even more. But now that I have the ability to feel proud, I’ve noticed that I still need other people to be proud of me, too. Annoying. I know. So I’m trying going to try a new thing where I allow myself to feel happy about achievements, but won’t share it with others until it feels real to me.  Wish me luck? (read: please tell me I’m doing a good job at not relying on others to validate my life.)

How does this relate to food and cooking? You know by now that I show my love for people by cooking for them. I need them to know, very concretely, that I care about them. I think this is quite nice. But, I have also found that I attribute my value as a friend, as a wife, as a daughter-in-law, as a human, to what concrete things I can offer, and whether those things are of high-quality. I’m afraid if I offer a bad meal that I’m actually very accurately depicting my poor value as a person. Dramatic? Yes. Unnecessary? Yes. Easy to change? No.

But change can come in itty bitty baby steps. About ten days ago, I made a pretty fucking inedible meal. I had a long day at work, had several other meetings/events to attend, and got home late. Feeling uninspired and tired, I refused to look for recipes and ended up lightly fried some chicken breasts, throwing in some white wine and broth, and braising it for about thirty minutes. I ended up putting some lemons in there, too. Mistake. The chicken ended up being incredibly bitter, like the rind of a lemon. And…I laughed. I laughed! I didn’t get angry, or lock myself in the bedroom to berate myself. Progress!

All this to say: I have a lot of work to do, and I’m excited that I can use cooking and eating to help me measure my improvement. Yea, yea, yea…maybe I should stop trying to quantify and measure everything, but that’s a goal for another season/year.

And now, here’s a recipe for a considerably more edible porchetta.

Porchetta, slow roasted for 5 hours

Porchetta Recipe
Recipe taken from I am a food blog
Serves 8-10
Prep time: 30 minutes
Cooking time: 5 hours

INGREDIENTS

Salt Rub
1 tablespoon of kosher salt
2 teaspoons of toasted fresh rosemary, chopped
2 teaspoons of toasted fennel seed, crushed
2 teaspoons of chili flakes
2 teaspoons of freshly ground black pepper
Zest of 1 lemon

Herb Rub
2 tablespoons of roughly chopped flat leaf parsley
2 tablespoons of fresh rosemary

Porchetta
12 inch slab of skin-on pork belly, skin lightly scored
Pork tenderloin, around 2-3 inches in diameter, 12 inches in length

Oil
String

INSTRUCTIONS

Combine the ingredients for the salt rub in a small bowl. Lightly sprinkle the inside of the pork belly with half of the salt rub. Sprinkle the herb rub on top and place the tenderloin in the center of the belly. Tightly roll up the belly around the tenderloin and tie together with kitchen twine. Rub the skin generously with oil and the rest with the salt rub. Place your porchetta in a dish, cover and place in the fridge for at least 12 hours.

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Heat the oven to 275F. Place the porchetta on a rack in a deep roasting pan. Lots of fat will be rendered out of the porchetta, so make sure your roasting pan is deep enough. Roast on the center rack of the oven for 4 hours. Use a meat thermometer to check that the internal termperature is 160F. Blast the heat up to 450 and continue to roast for 35 minutes, keeping an eye on the skin. You want the crackling golden brown and crispy, not burnt.

Remove from the oven, let it rest for 15-20 minutes, slice and enjoy!

Porchetta, ready to be eaten

Salsa Verde Recipe

INGREDIENTS
1 bunch of parsley
1 cup of olive oil
2 teaspoons of toasted fennel seeds, ground
2 teaspoons of toasted coriander, ground
2 teaspoons of chili flakes
salt (to taste)
2 cloves of garlic
Zest of 1 lemon
Juice from 2 lemons

INSTRUCTIONS

Puree all salsa verde ingredients until smooth. Put on top of sliced porchetta, and enjoy! The porchetta can also be sliced for sandwiches and topped with the sauce. Delish!

Coming Up…Our States, Our People, Our Food: Chinese Immigration to Mississippi and a Recipe for Salt and Pepper Shrimp

Lunch, Meal Planning 101, Menu of Meals, Recipe

Meal Planning 101: Organizing around a Budget, plus a Pickled Egg Salad Recipe

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In my first installment of the Meal Planning 101 series, I wrote about reusing versatile ingredients, which helps to tighten parameters, develop one’s palate, and save time and money. Truth be told, in response to my recent week-long “funk,” I went all out and spent way too much money on groceries for last week’s menu. I tend to function like a pendulum –either I’m on one side of an extreme or the other, and if I’m not, I’ve stopped moving and am probably dead. In any case, I thought it would be helpful to talk about budgeting. As you likely know by now, I like to impose limits and parameters on everything that I do, because the burden of choice can be too much for an anxious person like me. A budget is one of the most important frameworks, and can be really annoying to navigate when you’re a cravings-centric person like I am (lobster all the time, dammit!).

So, I’m not going to go through exactly how to budget one’s meal, because I think that the process, amount, and priorities are different for everyone depending on circumstances and preferences. What I’ll do, instead, is walk you through my general approach to choosing ingredients and meals based on a budget. To be clear, this post is not primarily about creating a menu based on a small/tight budget. I’ll do that another time.

Typically, I’m okay with spending an average of $14/day per person on groceries, and maybe a tad more when we host dinners with friends. Keep in mind that my husband and I rarely eat out or get delivery, even for lunch. This will cover breakfast, lunch, dinner, and when I’m feeling especially naughty, desserts and snacks. And, for the most part, my husband and I eat really, really well. There are definitely occasions when I need to spend less on groceries, whether it’s because I’ve just made a big purchase, and really need to replenish my piggy bank, or, those fleeting moments when I realize that I should have a LOT more dough stashed in a retirement fund, or when things are just generally tight. When that happens, here’s what I consider:

What can I spend?

The easiest and most important parameter is the actual budget. What can you/are you willing to spend on groceries, this week? This week, I gave myself a $120 budget.

What essential ingredients should I have in stock?

You may want to consider joining a place like Costco or Sam’s Club to stock up on essentials. Canned tomatoes and beans are always good to have on hand and are probably cheaper when buying in bulk. You can also grab important items like olive oil, vinegar, soy sauce, and other condiments when they’re on mega-sale somewhere, so you don’t have to constantly add these things to your grocery list.

What are some cheap go-to meals?

It’s always good to have some inexpensive meals in your pocket. I always make sure to have a pile of canned goods (tomatoes, beans), a variety of pastas, and rice. Also, I always have in stock essential items like onions, garlic, crushed red peppers, and anchovies. With these in place, I’m poised to make a cheap (and usually, quick) meal. Some of my go-to meals are: spaghetti aglio e olio (garlic and oil), pasta all’amatriciana, rice and beans, and pasta al pomodoro. This week, these dishes include a pasta al pomodoro, and a pickled egg salad.

What are cheaper ingredients?

When thinking about your meal for the week, it’s good to already have a sense of what foods are generally less expensive. For example, if you’re a meat-eater, chicken and pork are usually the cheaper options. Within the poultry category, dark meat is usually more affordable (and delicious), and bone-in cuts are generally even more forgiving on your wallet. I bought boneless/skinless chicken thighs for a katsu, and didn’t have to spend much dough for what will be a super filling and hearty meal. Consider the same thing with vegetables/produce, which are sadly often even more expensive than meat (thank the government’s insane subsidization of the meat industry) – generally, potatoes, cabbages, onions, carrots, and cauliflower are on the cheaper side of town. This may seem like a bummer, but there are so many wonderful things you can do with each of these ingredients. Cabbage was a good bet, and I’ve been enjoying a simple summer salad with raw red cabbage, carrots, and edamame.

What’s on sale?

Sales. Duh. Look at what’s on sale, see if anything is calling to you, and try to use those items as the basis for your menu. I saw that mussels were on sale, this week, and bought 2 pounds for a nice Moules Marinieres dish, that I’ll have with bread and a cabbage salad. Also, I got some beautiful branzino for roasting, which was only a whopping $5.99/lb.

Are there any foods/meals I MUST have, no question?

Admittedly, this isn’t always something we can ask ourselves when meal planning. I could say “I’m on a budget, but I must have caviar for breakfast every morning,” but that would be insane. However, if you are very in tune with what your body, heart, and soul crave, it can be helpful in setting more parameters for the rest of your meals. For example, this week’s menu is cheaper on the grocery-front, but I made sure I could still eat seafood, because that is what I’ve been craving. After purchasing crab meat, branzino, and mussels, it became clear that I had to be very mindful about the cost of ingredients for side dishes and the other meals. Though quinoa isn’t the most affordable grain out there, it was on sale, and I could combine some cheap canned goods (artichoke hearts and chickpeas) and some fresh vegetables for a hearty, filling, and relatively inexpensive meal/side dish.

Using these questions as a guide, here’s the menu I’ve come up with for the week (items in italics were on sale)

Monday, August 17

  • L: Salade Nicoise
  • D: Moules Marinieres (mussels cooked with garlic, shallots, white wine, and broth) + red cabbage, carrot and edamame salad + toasted bread

Tuesday, August 18

  • L: Quinoa salad w/ edamame, artichoke hearts, cherry tomatoes, yellow peppers, and chick peas
  • D: Roasted branzino + quinoa salad + asparagus

Wednesday, August 19

  • L: Leftover branzino w/ jasmine rice
  • D: Kimchi pancake + chicken thigh katsu + jasmine rice + red cabbage, carrot and edamame salad
  • Dessert: Homemade oreo ice cream sandwiches

Thursday, August 20

  • L: Chicken katsu sandwiches
  • D: Crab-fried rice + red cabbage, carrot and edamame salad

Friday, August 21

  • L: Pickled egg salad sandwiches
  • D: Spaghetti all’amatriciana

Saturday, August 22

  • L: Leftover pasta
  • D: Visiting family in NJ

Including breakfasts, which usually include toast, or granola + yogurt (not worthy of listing above), my husband and I spent a total of $24/day for what’s still a relatively happening menu. This also factors in extra groceries for certain meals since we will be hosting guests. I totally acknowledge that what I’ve spent is certainly not nothing, and that it may not be a reasonable budget for many. But, the questions I posed above can help someone navigate a budget of any size.

And now, for my favorite egg salad recipe.

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Pickled Egg Salad
Recipe taken and modified from Bon Appetit
Servings: 6
Prep Time: 25 minutes
Cooking Time: 10

Ingredients

  • ½ cup apple cider vinegar
  • ½ cup distilled white vinegar
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 1½ teaspoons kosher salt, plus more
  • 8 large eggs
  • 1/3 cup mayonnaise
  • ¼ cup finely chopped fresh chives
  • ¼ of finely chopped fresh parsley
  • Freshly ground black pepper
  • Bread for serving
  • Serrano ham or prosciutto for serving (optional)

Instructions

  1. Bring vinegars, sugar, 1½ tsp. salt, and ½ cup water to a simmer in a medium saucepan. Let cool.
  2. Meanwhile, place eggs in a medium saucepan and add water to cover by 2”. Bring to a boil, cover, and remove from heat. Let sit 10 minutes. Transfer eggs to a bowl of ice water to cool. Drain, peel, and return to bowl. Add pickling liquid; cover and chill at least 12 hours. Remove eggs from pickling liquid. Coarsely chop; mix with mayonnaise, scallions or chives, and parsley in a medium bowl. Season with salt, pepper, and some pickling liquid, if desired. (I used about 2 teaspoons.)
  3. Top bread with pickled egg salad, some chervil (if using), and a slice of ham or prosciutto (if using).
  4. Do Ahead: Eggs can be pickled 1 week ahead. Keep chilled.

Coming up on the Meal Planning 101 Series: On Navigating Time Constraints

Dinner, Lunch, Recipe

On Balance, and a Bibim Guksu Recipe

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I’m not particularly gifted and finding balance, in my life. Words that might better describe me: obsessive, sunny, self-deprecating, product-oriented, compulsive, nurturing, neurotic, controlling. Lots of things, but definitely not balanced. Not yet.
Also, not terribly photogenic

Also, not terribly photogenic

I’m on the hunt for a hobby, and am fully dreading this opportunity/task. When my only frame of reference for hobbies includes solo piano competitions, and other embarrassing activities of the like, it’s hard for me to approach a non-essential activity without being annoyingly methodical, aggressive, and ambitious, particularly since I have the great dishonor of conflating enjoyment with being good at something. Because of the level of unnecessary intensity I bring to the table, I end up talking myself out of doing anything. For example: when considering taking yoga classes, I decided that I should first start with bartered private yoga instructional sessions, so I could perform with the right form before being in a group setting. When I couldn’t find someone with whom to barter, and because I couldn’t even consider the notion of being completely unprepared for it, I didn’t do any yoga. Another example: I had considered returning to the piano, and got a keyboard for my birthday several years ago. Having picked up all my music from NJ, I started planning how often and how long to practice, made a schedule of when to learn and memorize each section, blahblahblah. Categorically not fun. A bit not good. But it’s the only way I know how to approach anything.

By way of cooking and eating, I think I’m slowly starting to learn to enjoy not only the (hopefully delicious) product, but also the process. Because the enjoyment (of eating) so immediately follows the work and process, perhaps I will begin to conflate the two pieces, and learn to approach everything else with the ultimate goal of enjoyment (instead of mastery, which will always be unattainable, anyway). All this to say, I was totally unbalanced about this week’s meals. Since I was a little lazy and unproductive the week prior, I felt the need to compensate with a rather intensive menu of meals. Plus, I had the added (self-inflicted) pressure of wanting to delight in spring/summer foods and salads. Even with a little bit of unnecessary stress, I experienced a great deal of joy while preparing the week’s menu. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll learn to approach everything in my life with a bit of balance, joy, and ambition, and eat good food all the while.

And now, a recipe. This dish was rocking and rolling, and is pretty perfect for any warm to sweltering day.

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Bibim Guksu Recipe

Serves 6
Preparation Time: 30 minutes
Cooking Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients

10 oz. soba or lo mein noodles (soba is better, but I couldn’t find any in the local grocery store)
1/4 head of red cabbage, thinly sliced
2 large carrots, julienned
1 large cucumber, julienned
1/2 of a tart apple, julienned
1/2  cup of kimchi, diced

For the sauce:

3 tbsp gochujang (Korean hot pepper paste) Note: each brand carries a different weight of spiciness. If you are sensitive to spiciness, start with 2 tbsp, taste after everything else has been mixed together, and slowly add more if you so desire
1 1/2 tbsp white vinegar
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 1/2 tbsp honey
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 1/2 tbsp sesame oil
1 tbsp sesame seeds, lightly toasted (optional)

See marinated flank steak recipe below.

Method

  1. Boil noodles as instructed. Drain, and rinse the noodles under cold water to stop the cooking. Shake the water off, put noodles in a large mixing bowl, and add a teeny bit of vegetable oil and mix to make sure they don’t stick together.
  2. Put your prepared vegetables into the bowl, along with the sauce. Using a piece of plastic wrap to protect your and from the spicy sauce, thoroughly mix the noodles, vegetables, and sauce together. Using tongs or utensils might break the noodles, so best to use your hands. 
  3. Place your mixed noodles into a bowl, and top with slices of marinated skirt steak (recipe below).

Korean Marinated Flank Steak Recipe

Preparation Time: 10 minutes, plus up to a 12 hours of marinating
Cooking Time: 10 minutes, plus 10 minutes of resting the meat

Ingredients
1 1/2 – 2 lbs of flank steak, 1/2 an inch thick
1/4 cup of soy sauce
1 tbsp of ginger, finely minced
2 cloves of garlic, finely minced
4 scallions, thinly sliced
1 tbsp of sugar
1 tsp of ground pepper
1/2 a apple, thinly shredded
1 tbsp sesame oil

Method

  1. In a large bowl, mix the soy sauce, ginger, garlic, scallions, sugar, pepper, apple, and sesame oil.
  2. Carefully pour the marinade into a large freezer bag, along with the piece of flank steak. Close the bag, making sure there is no air trapped. Put the bag into the refrigerator for up to 12 hours.
  3. An hour before you plan to cook the steak, take the bag out of the fridge. Let it come closer to room temperature.
  4. Heat a cast iron skillet at a high heat until smoke starts to come off of the pan. Lower the heat to a medium-high flame, and add the steak. After four minutes, flip it over, and let it cook for another 3 minutes.
  5. Take the steak off the pan and put onto a cutting board. Let it sit, uncovered, for about 10 minutes so that the juices can redistribute. The cooking time is for a medium rare steak. After 10 minutes, slice to your desired thickness. Place ontop of bibim guksu!