Category Archives: Menu of Meals

Menu of Meals

On Breathing and Eating: Our Time in Maine and a List of Meals

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WARNING: PICTURES GALORE

My husband, dog and I were in Maine for a whole week, and though time moved slowly, steadily, and beautifully while we were there, the moment we were back in Brooklyn, it felt like it all passed in the blink of an eye. Sigh.

Our vacation camp in the Frye Mountain Game Preserve

Our vacation camp in the Frye Mountain Game Preserve

We stayed at an amazing solar-powered camp located in the Frye Mountain Game Preserve, 15 minutes from Belfast, the cutest town of all time. The view was nothing short of breathtaking (literally), the silence was ever-present (the kind that rings in your ears from shock), and, importantly, the kitchens were incredible. Yes, plural. The cabin had an indoor and outdoor kitchen. WHAT.

A wonderful kitchen in the cabin

A wonderful kitchen in the cabin

The outdoor kitchen had a commercial range, wood fired pizza oven, and a manual wood fire ‘grill’, and the cabin was equipped with three differently sized and shaped cast iron pans, seasoned to perfection, and three dutch ovens. Oh, and there was a delectable herb garden, with basil you could smell from inside the camp.

In the outdoor kitchen

In the outdoor kitchen

For the first time in a long while, I didn’t schedule our meals in advance of the trip. I approached this vacation as a sort of experiment, to see whether I could even stand the idea of not planning every element of the vacation. I did it! Sort of. Because we were close to a wonderful food co-op (apparently the oldest one in Maine) and had access to delicious and local meat, dairy, produce, and seafood, it was easy/easier to play it by ear. And by ‘play it by ear,’ of course I mean that I scheduled our menu in two day increments. Baby steps, people. Baby steps. Here’s what we ended up cooking and/or eating*:

*If you want a recipe for any of the dishes below, let me know in a comment.

SATURDAY, 6/20
Dinner: Marinated and grilled flank steak, sticky purple rice, and a salad (red leaf lettuce, carrots, radicchio, fennel, cocktail tomatoes, and radishes)

SUNDAY, 6/21

Breakfast: Fried eggs, apple smoked bacon, and toast (all local)

Lunch: Salad with sliced flank steak (all local)

Dinner: Boiled lobster, twice baked potatoes stuffed with yogurt, herbs, and cheese, and clarified butter with garlic and herbs (all local)

MONDAY, 6/22

Breakfast: Toast, butter, and blueberry jam (all local)
Lunch: Tarragon lobster rolls on butter-toasted rolls (all local)

Dinner: Wood fired pizzas (all local)

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TUESDAY, 6/21
Brunch: Lemon yogurt pancakes, scrambled eggs, and apple smoked bacon (all local)

Dinner: Pappardelle with a tomato cream sauce (cocktail tomatoes were roasted and then stewed with caramelized shallots, garlic, goats milk, basil, and parsley) and a salad (all local, except for pasta)

WEDNESDAY, 6/22
Breakfast: Toast, butter, and blueberry jam (all local)
Snack: Boiled lobster

Dinner: Bruschetta (w/ grilled bread, fire roasted cocktail tomatoes, and basil), salad, and lobster & pea risotto (made with roasted vegetable, chicken, and lobster carcass stock) (all local)

Dessert: Maple walnut oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

THURSDAY, 6/23
Breakfast: Toast, butter, and blueberry jam (all local)
Lunch: Fried clams and haddock (our first purchased meal)
Dinner: Tagliolini w/ sweet peas, shallots, lemon, butter, mint, parsley, basil, and cheese, and a salad

Friday, 6/24
Breakfast: Maple almond scones

Lunch: Boiled lobster and steamers (second purchased meal) at Young’s Lobster Pound (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)

Dinner, the last hurrah: Wood fire grilled rib eye steak; pan seared hake with lemon, butter, and herb sauce; scalloped potatoes with caramelized onions, cheese, chicken bone broth, and parsley; wood fire grilled eggplant and zucchini; and a salad (all local)


I’ve never really given much thought to cooking and eating local, but it was a particularly easy endeavor in Belfast. And, I have to say, I’m hooked. To be frank, however, I was less cognizant of my spending on groceries because we were on vacation – I’m not sure we can eat with the same kind of accidental commitment to local eating here in Brooklyn.

We didn’t spend ALL of our time cooking and eating. Just most of our time. Usually, we justify the mass amounts of food consumed by hiking and swimming. We did go on some beautiful walks and hikes, but definitely not enough to adequately combat the mild and happy plumpness that overtook my body.

Hiking with Mandu is one of the best things ever

Hiking with Mandu is one of the best things ever


My boys

Finally, I want to mention how excited I am about the week we’ve had with SCOTUS. Obviously, as a married person, I believe there is something wonderful about marriage, my marriage, and I’m pleased that this country has finally made a commitment to some form of equity. However, I will not yet say that I am proud to be an American. Until anti-LGBTQ violence, murderous transphobia, homelessness, deportation, state-sanctioned anti-POC violence, and the invisibility of POC women are also on the forefront of our national consciousness, enough to change institutions and culture, I won’t say that I am proud to be an American. We have work to do. I will say that I take great pride and joy in knowing and loving people and organizations committed to the transformation of this country. And I will say that to fight against the systemic cruelty and oppression practiced by this nation is to believe in it, and to love it.

Maine, thank you for bringing me some peace, sanity, and deliciousness.

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Menu of Meals

On Maine, Mom, and a (Working) Menu for Vacation

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In a ten days, my partner in crime and grime, our shiba, and I will be en route to a week-long and breathtaking getaway in Maine. With incredible views of the rolling hills, green trees, and fluffy clouds, we’ll spend our days hiking, swimming, reading, napping, and exploring Belfast. Oh, and we’ll be eating a lot. Like, an insane amount of food. And what, pray tell, will we be eating with incredible gluttony and satisfaction?

LOBSTER.

Oh. My. God.

LOBSTER.

But this trip isn’t just about the lobster. I mean, a lot of it is. But Maine holds a very special and overwhelming place in my heart. In my younger days, my family would spend a week or two together in the Pine Tree State. It was the only time I didn’t obsessively focus on practicing an instrument, the only time I didn’t think about school, or my academic deficiencies (fuck you, math and science!). I was granted reprieve from intensive camps (e.g. 6 week sleepaway piano camp, vocal pre-college program).

Instead, I breathed. I shared comfortable and comforting silences with my mother. I hiked with my brother and found myself inspired and moved by his quiet yet powerful leadership. I humored my mom and let her take hundreds of mediocre photos of my mediocre face, but pretended (or allowed myself) to feel beautiful. Though I’m not sure that my mother knew it, I spend a great deal of my time watching her interact with the natural world. She touched remarkably ordinary leaves, sticks, and rocks with an impossible tenderness, warmth, and appreciation. She would pick up some weirdly shaped pebble and exclaimed that she found inspiration for a new pot (she was a potter in the final years of her life).

One of mom's pieces

One of mom’s pieces

I called these

I called these “The Dr. Seuss Series”

At the time, I had high standards for beauty. Things had to be the most unique and aesthetically pleasing in order for my heart to flutter. So, like a typical tween/teenage daughter, I’d roll my eyes (with fondness) at my mother’s ridiculous propensity for finding beauty in random and regular shit.This isn’t to say that Maine is random and regular. It’s stunning. 

And then she died. We never went back, and it’s now been nearly ten years since I last visited. We followed that typical familial trajectory, where my brother and I grew up and we stopped vacationing together as a family. Though I had opportunities to travel to Maine during my college years, and the time that followed, there was something delicately haunting and mystical about the state– a hopeful and subtle promise that my mother would somehow, in some way, be a part of the experience. I hadn’t been ready.

My last trip to Maine

Mom and me, last trip to Maine

But I am, now. I’m filled with a desire to be genuinely compassionate, to myself, to others, to the natural world. And I’m looking forward to assessing those ordinary leaves, sticks, and rocks, to finding pieces of my mother in the earth, the ponds, in my reflection.

And, to bring it back to the main subject at hand, I’m looking forward to lobster. I conflate my (strangely expansive) memories of Maine with those of eating so much damn lobster that we had to be “creative” about what to do with leftovers. Drench it in BBQ sauce. Mix it with rice, vegetables, kimchi, and Kraft American Singles. Eat it for breakfast and for dessert. Put it on a pie. It was fun, but definitely not always delicious.

Now that I’m a grown ass person, I can actually prepare and cook the lobster, myself! How exciting is that?

Though I had promised myself that I wouldn’t make a fully blown for the trip, I just can’t help it. This cabin has a full outdoor kitchen (commercial range, pizza oven, professional grill), so…obviously I need a menu. I don’t think Nico minds my compulsive need to plan our meals, not when it comes to lobster.

Here’s a working list of proposed meals, to soon be assessed and voted on by me and the husband dude. Yea, there’s a voting system. Feel free to pick your favorites in a comment!

Note: I usually create and finalize these menus many months in advance, so this is me being way chiller than ever before. Thank you, therapy!

Breakfast (pick four)

  • Lemon ricotta pancakes
    Breakfast pizza w/ herbs, spinach, and eggs
  • Breakfast quesadillas w/ broccoli, cheddar, and eggs
  • Sour cream coffee cake with orange and chocolate

Lunch (pick four)

  • Tarragon lobster rolls
  • Lobster, kimchi, and egg fried rice
    Lobster corn chowder
  • Lobster grilled cheese sandwich w/ watercress
  • Grilled vegetables (eggplant, zucchini, onions, peppers) on a toasted baguette w/ brie

Dinner (pick six)

  • Pizza (margherita, four cheese, speck + onion)
  • Marinated skirt steak, grilled vegetables, and rice
  • Steamed lobster w/ grilled asparagus and baked stuffed potatoes
  • Lobster and pea risotto, and a salad
  • Grilled lobster w/ garlic/parsley butter, toasted baguette, and browned baby zucchini w/ mint, basil, and pine nuts
  • Grilled lobster with miso butter, jasmine rice, and grilled zucchini
  • Cantonese-style ginger and scallion lobster, jasmine rice, and sautéed bok coy
  • Lobster mac n cheese and salad
  • Lobster, seafood, and pea risotto and a salad
  • Lobster, clam, and kimchi stew, jasmine rice, and garlic sautéed spinach
  • Zuni Café inspired roasted chicken, grilled bread salad, and tomato + cucumber + olive + feta salad
  • Pappardelle w/ roasted cherry tomato cream sauce, and a salad

Dessert (pick 2)

  • Peach and blueberry cake
  • Strawberry mascarpone tart
  • Orange, grapefruit, and green grape compote
Menu of Meals

Weekly Menu Series: On Warming Weather, and Trying to Crave Salads

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Ah, Spring. The great season of pollen.

Welcome, pollen!

Welcome, pollen!

In the last couple of days, I’ve found myself mourning the loss of crisper and cooler weather. Why? Because I love cold-weather food more than I love warm-weather food (with a notable exception of watermelon – I could eat that all day, every day, duh). I am fond of all things stewed, roasted, broiled, baked,  and braised, and find it a bit difficult to do these things in hot temperatures without feeling like my apartment has become a really fragrant and unbearable sauna. If I had to choose between meals that are comforting and meals that are refreshing, well, you probably know where I would land. But I suppose those things aren’t mutually exclusive, and perhaps this season can serve as an opportunity for me to learn how to make exceptional spring/summer foods.

To make sure that I am not the only one to blame for a potentially lackluster spring/summer menu for the week’s meals, I sent to my husband a survey, where he had to choose his top seven lunch/dinner selections, top three side dishes, and top dessert. I already harbor a ludicrous level of anxiety about not enjoying these meals as much as I’d like to (how many salads can I bear?), so it is important for me to redistribute the blame for the potentiality of mediocre food. Thanks, husband!

Of course, I’m not going to entirely stay away from the oven – I would definitely rather eat vegetables roasted than raw. But, I want to minimize the amount of time spent on the range and oven, so that my adorable apartment doesn’t become a sweat box. I thought it would be nice to incorporate a calzone into the mix because elements of each can be prepared at different times. Then, when the apartment has been purged of all cooking-related hotness, I can stick those babies in the oven.

For the record, I’m not anti-salad. Salads can incorporate so many things, like grains (farro is a favorite of mine), pasta, rice, vegetables, cheese, etc. I just don’t find myself craving salads the way I crave a hearty porkchop, braised beef, or miso ramen. I’m hoping that an exploration of new recipes will help change this attitude.

So, without further ado, here is the week’s menu:

MAIN COURSES/LUNCHES

  1. Chard, mushroom, and burrata calzones
  2. Quinoa salad w/ cherry tomatoes, edammame, artichokes, peppers, chickpeas, and parsley
  3. Spring greens bibimbap (Korean mixed rice dish) with fried egg
  4. Bibim guksu (Korean spicy mixed noodles) with cucumbers, carrots, cabbage, lettuce, and kimchi, topped with slices of marinated flank steak
  5. Halibut with summer squash & roasted potatoes
  6. Roasted cherry tomato pasta
  7. Pickled egg salad
  8. Pasta salad with roasted cherry tomatoes, tuna, mozzarella, cheddar, olives, and basil

SIDES

  • Arugula salad with roasted asparagus, pine nuts, cherry tomatoes, and lemon vinaigrette
  • Roasted potato wedges
  • Sauteed zucchini
  • Garlic sauteed swiss chard

DESSERT

  • Blueberry maple scones

And my first Mandu+Me selfie of the season:

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Menu of Meals

Menu Series: I’m still alive, and I’m back!

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I know, I know – I really fell off the face of the food-making/eating/writing planet over the past two months. Those who know me are well aware that I had been chin-deep in gala planning for my (now former) organization. Though the Benefit went superbly, these events suck my time, energy, soul, and spirit, so I’m terribly happy that it’s all over.

Looking smart as hell as I hustle at the Spring Benefit

Looking smart as hell as I hustle at the Spring Benefit

For the past few weeks, I’ve been unable to cook and eat the way I like to cook and eat, which is decidedly the worst thing ever. An unmitigated disaster. For example, my stomach shrunk so much in the last month that I couldn’t even finish my egg, bacon & cheese croissant sammich, the other day (see photo below). Who am I? WHO AM I?

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Anyway, I’m pleased to say that I’m entering a new era of my life and career, as I’ve accepted a role as Director of Development at a wonderful school in Brooklyn. The new gig starts on May 18th, so my plans for the coming week’s staycation are to cook, eat, relax, and repeat.

Because I’ve been eating small portions of junk for the last month or so, I really need this week’s meals to be both light and delicious. Without further ado, here’s the menu:

  • Steamed whole sea bass with ginger, garlic, and scallions + jasmine rice + spicy sauteed swiss chard
  • Nicoise salad (w/ arugula, tuna, German potato salad, olives, string beans, and hard boiled eggs) + rye bread
  • Kimchi fried rice w/ spam + arugula and roasted asparagus salad
  • Farro salad w/ roasted sweet potato, roasted carrots, radishes, pickled shallots, and crumbled feta cheese
  • Porcini mushroom risotto (w/ homemade roasted vegetable and chicken stock) + roasted brussel sprouts
  • Ddak bulgogi + jasmine rice + butter-braised brussel sprouts
  • Miso ramen w/ charred chicken, bok choy, mushrooms, and corn
  • Beef, olive and raisin empanadas (w/ homemade dough)
  • Plus: my very first attempt at making blueberry pie!

Coming up…On Trying Something New: Self-Doubt as Motivation, Plus a Recipe for Blueberry Pie

Menu of Meals

Weekly Menu Series: Remembering Halmuni

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You might say that your grandmother made/makes the best […], and I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. I’m going open my arms to my competitive streak and say that my halmuni (Korean for ‘paternal grandmother’) was the best cook in the whole fucking world.

Well, maybe that’s not nice. And not true. But I will say that my grandmother’s food was intensely stellar. In it, you could taste her love, energy, subtlety, and flavor, and you could take one bite and clearly infer what kind of woman she was. Of course, I know that taste and smell can catapult us into fond memories, and perhaps our history of mutual love and affection impacted/impacts the way I remember her dishes. Even if my tastebuds are colored by my feelings, I don’t think that makes my love for her food any less real, any less true.

My halmuni passed away, last week. In the past few days, I’ve been wondering why I haven’t been processing this news more proactively. God, Yejin, have a heart! But then I realized something: I’ve been cooking a lot more Korean(ish?) food, as of late, which is pretty unusual for me. Cooking and eating stuff that reminds me of her has, in a small way, helped me to start figuring it out (it = life). So, as someone who loves food and family, I thought I would craft a menu that catapults me into the back of halmuni’s car as she drove me to ballet class. Flavors that remind me that even though I have lost too many people in my relatively young life, I have received and experienced an immense amount of love. Food that help me to remember the ways in which my grandmother was largely responsible for fueling my obsession with eating, guilty of forming my palate.

So, without further ado, here’s next week’s menu:

(I also threw in a couple of pasta dishes, so my husband’s very Italian tastebuds don’t get too homesick)

  • Saeng sun jun (lightly battered and pan fried fish fillets) + jasmine rice + sauteed bok choy in garlic sauce + flash fried shishito peppers with sea salt flakes
  • Homemade fried mandu (with handmade dumpling skins) + jasmine rice + cabbage salad
  • Galbijjim (beef shortrib stew with onions, carrots and radishes) + jasmine rice + hobak jun (fried zucchini)
  • Ginger Chicken Jook/Congee (rice porridge) topped with fried shallots, salted roast peanuts and gai lan + flash fried shishito peppers with sea salt flakes
  • Rice mixed with shredded jangjorim (beef boiled with soy sauce and some aromatics), jangjorim sauce, and sesame oil, topped with a peeled soft boiled egg + sauteed zucchimi
  • Farfalle with hot Italian sauage, broccoli rabe, anchovies, and hot pepper flakes
  • Fusilli with cherry tomato sauce + roasted broccoli rabe

And, here are a couple of photos of my beautiful halmuni:

grandma's family, looking classy and fly as hell

grandma’s family, looking classy and fly as hell

halmuni's beauty is clearly overshadowing my face

halmuni’s beauty is clearly overshadowing my face

Menu of Meals

Weekly Menu Series: On Soups + Leftovers

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As I’ve previously mentioned, my anxiety around unused food and leftovers was, at least initially, the primary motivation for creating an obsessive menu of meals. Looking at wilted/slimy greens and gray meat in my fridge would really bum me out, so I decided that I had to know exactly how much of everything I needed to buy, which necessitated a full schedule for the week (since I didn’t want to do grocery shopping every day). One thing that brings me great joy is strategically using leftovers for another meal – it transforms my reactive obsessions/compulsions into a proactive process.

This week’s meal menu was inspired by my need for soup. Though winter is starting to melt (thank gods), when I created this schedule, the cold was settling in my bones and all I wanted to do was bathe in simmering stock. The great thing about making broth is that several meals can stem from it and its leftovers. I usually make broth with a whole chicken + roasted vegetables (I find that roasting the vegetables makes for a deeper, richer, and warmer experience, which is what I want when we’ve had the winter from a frozen hell), and it leaves me with enough for three separate dishes plus loads of boiled chicken for a yummy chicken salad. For this schedule, the stock/chicken is being used for: white bean, escarole & sausage soup; pasta e fagioli (pasta fazul); radicchio risotto; and chicken salad.

Here is the week’s schedule.

Sunday, March 8

  • To Do: Make stock
  • To Do: Make chicken salad (from the stock)
  • Lunch: n/a (in NJ)
  • Dinner: White bean, escarole & sausage soup + bread + farro salad w/ roasted onion, toasted pine nuts, currants, and mustard greens 

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Monday, March 9

  • To Do: Make double chocolate biscotti
  • Lunch: Chicken salad sammies
  • Dinner: Leftover soup + bread + swiss chard salad with lemon, grana & homemade breadcrumbs
  • Dessert: Double chocolate biscotti IMG_0251IMG_0253

Tuesday, March 10

  • Lunch: Leftover farro salad
  • Dinner: Chicken legs baked with white wine + french baguette + salad with prosciutto & pear IMG_0237

Wednesday, March 11

  • Lunch: Leftover chicken
  • Dinner: Pasta e fagioli + salad with prosciutto & pear

Thursday, March 12

  • Lunch: Leftover pasta fazul
  • Dinner: Crispy pork belly + white rice + sauteed bok choy in garlic sauce

Friday, March 13

  • Lunch: Leftover pork belly
  • Dinner: Pizza two ways (margherita + speck/onion)

Saturday, March 14

  • Lunch: Leftovers
  • Dinner: Radicchio risotto

Coming up: On Authenticity, plus  recipe for my Pasta e Fagioli

Note: The “brevity” of this entry is either a disappointment, a relief, or nothing. The week has been a bit crazy because of family stuff and work, but I promise to make the next entry a doozy!

Menu of Meals

Weekly Menu Series: On Cravings

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After posting many of my near-neurotic meal schedules on Facebook, I was encouraged by friends and acquaintances to not only share the week’s plans re: food, but also to discuss why and how I come up with such plans. For every other entry, I’ll post my numnum calendar on “Exposed Eats with Yejin” for the week and discuss one of the many elements that determines the direction of my menu.

Note: Eventually, as I become more sophisticated as a blogger (good luck with that, Yejin), I can start incorporating recipes into the menu, and maybe even a list of grocery items for the week. Yes? No? Maybe?

As you know by now, a lot of my behaviors are dictated by anxiety, and my methods of planning, cooking and eating are no exception. I have anxiety around unused produce or meat going bad; anxiety that my husband and I won’t enjoy our meal; anxiety that I don’t know what’s coming next. To some, it may appear that my obsession with creating, organizing and arranging these meals is just a symptom of my mind’s ailments-perhaps that is a little bit true. Or a lot bit true. But I would say that the process that I’ve crafted serves as a weirdly beautiful release for my excess disquietude. And the result is usually pretty tasty!

Other elements that go into this process include:

  • Cravings
  • Budget
  • Weather
  • My mood (yes, like a freak, I can often predict my mood a week in advance)
  • Whether we’re having guests
  • Leftovers
  • My feelings about my body
  • How much cheese I want to consume any given week (this is real)
  • A lot of other stuff
    I don’t want to scare my readers away by listing all the crazy things I consider when developing the week’s menu. Plus, I feel like I should leave a little mystery, no? Look at me, being all coy and restrained.

Today, I want to talk about cravings.

So…I was bulimic in high school.

…

BOOM.

Sorry, readers – I’m sure you weren’t ready for that, but I swear this is relevant. And since I’ve already bummed you out with my last entry, I promise not to go into that sad little piece of my history, today. We’ll leave it for another time.

Once I told my mother about my bulimia, we cried ugly and wonderful tears together, and then she took me to see a nutritionist. My memory, as you know, is crap. So I don’t remember how frequently I saw this person, and whether I felt much better after my sessions were completed. But I do recall learning (and retaining) a very important lesson about cravings: don’t repress them. Embrace a craving, even if it is fatty or sugary or chocolatey or buttery (ugh, that all sounds so good, no?). Because for me, depriving myself of something I wanted was a form of self-inflicted punishment. Girls who aren’t doing well in math don’t deserve a slice of cake. Girls who aren’t toned, skinny, and blonde/brunette haven’t earned the right to eat all that pork belly. Girls who can’t control the most basic elements of their lives shouldn’t get mac n cheese. By learning to lean into my cravings (and doing so in moderation), I slowly began to disassociate the act of eating (or binging or deprivation) with the act of self-loathing. FREEDOOOOM.

Now, I allow my cravings to gently dictate our weekly menu.

This week, I wanted pork. Pork pork pork. So we purchased bacon, pork chops, and sausages, and I came up with the following schedule:

  • Farfalle all’amatriciana + salad with romaine hearts, endives, radicchio, and sliced apple
  • Sticky honey & soy pork chops + jasmine rice + sauteed bok choy in garlic sauce
  • Fusilli with sweet Italian sausage, broccoli, and hot pepper flakes + salad with romaine hearts, endives, radicchio, and sliced apple
  • Fried tofu with spicy ginger, garlic and scallion sauce + jasmine rice + gai lan with oyster sauce
  • Farfalle alla peperonata + salad with romaine hearts, endives, radicchio, and sliced apple
  • Cabbage, cannellini bean & Italian sausage soup

I find pork to be very comforting, and I often want to consume it with equally comforting sides, like mashed potatoes. But because the meat can be heavy, I tried thinking about ways to make the whole meals a bit lighter so I could eat a lot without feeling gross afterwards. I incorporated the bacon into the Farfalle all’amatriciana, and decided it should go with a light and mildly bitter salad to cut the rich and fatty sauce. For the chops, I chose a vaguely Asian marinade for the pork chops so I could have it with rice, which keeps the meal a bit brighter and lighter.

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And I thought it would be nice to split the sausages into one pasta dish and a soup to make sure we aren’t consuming too much meat in one week (too much makes me insanely sleepy and inarticulate). I added a tofu dish for good measure. Because that means that I’m healthy, right? Right?

I don’t think that giving into cravings is inherently unhealthy. In fact, I believe healthiness and happiness are both subjective experiences whose boundaries are constantly changing and moving. One of the ways that I keep up with my changing needs and desires is to sometimes give into stuff that I want. Sadly, you won’t find me exclusively eating pork belly for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, while binge-watching House of Cards and The Wire until the day I die, but I will let myself enjoy that extra cookie, extra slices of bacon, and second servings of mac n cheese. And I do that because I deserve to understand and love myself in a way that feels right, and in a way that tastes delicious.

Coming Up: On Identity Politics, Being a Bad Korean, and a Recipe for Ddak Bulgogi (Korean BBQ Chicken)

Menu of Meals

Initial Exposure

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There is an array of amazing work articulating the ways in which the body can/should be understood as a site of knowledge, desire, pleasure, and resistance. Many posit that power and oppression are inscribed onto our bodies, but that we can use our corporeality to resist violence and attain psychic agency. I promise not to quote Michel Foucault or Judith Butler in my inaugural blog post, but I will say this: as someone who has internalized ugliness and beauty, self-loathing and confidence, cultural shame and pride, my body has been both my enemy and my saving grace. And, by extension, my creation and consumption of food has become an important element in disassembling and understanding these dichotomies.

Hello! I’m Yejin, author of this cooking blog and the far-too-exposed-and-vulnerable word-vomit above. I’m a lot of things that are sure to be boring, if listed. What I’m not is a bonafide chef or cook. I don’t make many fancy things, and I don’t always use proper techniques. But I really love to cook and eat. As someone who doesn’t really understand how to have a hobby (without incorporating unachievable expectations of vaguely ‘winning’ something), cooking is the closest thing to an enjoyable activity that I’ve got (unless binge-watching TV counts). Though, to be fair, eating something delicious is kind of akin to my mouth winning a prize, no? You’ll get to know that I’m a pretty high-strung, anxious, and obsessive person, but I’ve found a way to direct these somewhat maniacal energies into something tasty: a weekly menu of meals. Yay for my belly!

Actually, the paragraph above is too reductive. I love cooking, not just because it is a kind of pressure valve. I love the process of preparation, because I can literally categorize everything neatly into boxes (my obsession with categorization and compartmentalization is not always relevant or helpful, in life). I love watching the transformation of a dish’s ingredients. I love being catapulted into a memory by a simple smell. Maybe more important, I adore eating. Food is so fucking amazing. Sometimes, my body doesn’t know how to handle such pleasure, and it produces tears. TEARS. My body can be so dramatic.

This is how I generally feel about food.

This is generally how I feel about food. It excites me.

So, at least to start, I’m going to post two entries per week: the first will share my week’s menu, along with an explanation of why and how I decided on those meals; the second will feature one particular dish and recipe, and I’ll write about the stuff it brings up, for me. It is totally possible that the format and content of the blog will change (AH!), so please bear with me as I figure it out. If any of you have suggestions on better ways to present the schedule of meals or anything else, please let me know! I’m nothing if not willing to improve myself and the stuff I do.

Without further ado, here’s a list of this week’s meals:

  • Broiled salmon filets + jasmine rice + sauteed bok choy in garlic sauce
  • Spaghetti aglio e olio + arugula salad with roasted asparagus, fennel, toasted pine nuts, shaved grana in lemon vinaigrette
  • Marinated steak burritos (in the style of Chipotle – it’s ok to judge me)
  • Penne alla puttanesca + arugula salad with roasted asparagus, fennel, toasted pine nuts, shaved grana in lemon vinaigrette
  • Paprika chicken stew + jasmine rice + arugula salad with roasted asparagus, fennel, toasted pine nuts, shaved grana in lemon vinaigrette
  • Sriracha and soy sauce baked tofu + jasmine rice + gai lan (chinese broccoli) in oyster sauce
  • Margherita pizza + white pizza with speck and sliced onion

I’ll wait to explain my meal selection process for entry #3, since this one’s already long enough to make your eyes cross. Coming up: Recipe for paprika chicken stew + memories of mother.

Before I let you go, I wanted to end the post with this: you’ll learn that I’m simultaneously a person of control and excess. A product of my anxiety, I try to control every element of my life. I am a chronic worrier and over-preparer, and have no idea how people improvise anything (I may have married a jazz musician just to figure that out). Yet, all that control is systematically dismantled and then re-fueled by my excess of feelings, thoughts, and desires. All this to say: I already love you in excess. Thanks for taking part in my journey!